Happy National Donut Day!

June 5th, 2009 pam Posted in food, random 10 Comments »

You heard me. It’s the first Friday in June, which means … National Donut Day!

Celebrate with one of these free donut patterns to knit or crochet [ravelry links]:

Today is ALSO the first day of voting in the Netflix Find Your Voice Indpendent Film Competition. My friend Eric Lin is a semifinalist, so take a minute to go watch the excerpt from his film (”Why We Pull the Trigger”) and give it 5 stars! (ETA: voting will be open until July 5.)

If Eric wins, he gets $350,000 in resources to make his film. Eric got married last weekend, and I turned 31 on Wednesday — your 5 stars can be your gift to us. Thanks! xoxo

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

wonderful. wonderful.

March 30th, 2008 pam Posted in friends, random, silliness 65 Comments »

Click “play” for optimum reading experience.

I can’t tell you why I created this craft project. I just woke up on Friday morning knowing that it had to happen. Nor can I explain why I’ve made a habit of investing stupid amounts of time and effort into what are essentially joke gifts. I cannot pin down the wacky impulse in my head that says “So-and-So is having a birthday? Obviously s/he needs a handmade gift that is neither useful nor desirable!”

What I can tell you is that, when I’m not knitting, I have a serious weakness for elaborate and useless crafts. There is no scrapbooking at my house. I will never sew an apron or weave a table runner. Instead, I might slave for 20 straight hours to create a Halloween costume that will only be worn once.

I can also tell you that I have very patient and good-humored friends, and that last night one of them was the recipient of an utterly ridiculous, totally useless birthday gift.

It’s a diorama.

Based on an episode of The X-Files called “Home.”

(Which is, along with being intensely creepy and unintentionally hilarious, one of the most fucked-up, pathologizing, mindlessly stereotypical representations you’ll see on TV of rural white people. I’m just saying.)

If you want the nuts-and-bolts details of how I made it, please read on. Otherwise, feel free to just pretend you never saw a thing, and I’ll post again soon with some pretty pictures of knitting.

Read the rest of this entry »

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

On Being a Process Knitter

January 3rd, 2008 pam Posted in random, silliness 48 Comments »

Grumperina, Minty, Kristy, Margene, Lolly, and a heap of other folks have talked/written at some length about what it means to be a process knitter versus a product knitter.

And it was never clear to me where (or whether) my own crafty practices fit into this binary.

I mean, I love stuff. I love clothes in particular. And I love handknit clothes particularly in particular.

I wear almost all of my handknits. What I don’t wear, I frog and reknit into something I’ll get use out of.

The unique joy of finishing a knitted piece is something rare and precious to me.

So, in spite of how much I enjoy the processes of knitting, I’ve always thought, maybe I am a product/object knitter. Which is fine by me. I have no shame regarding my love of material stuff or of fashion.

But then this happened:


I was backstage at a show with my band, and there was a random, dusty old skein of blue acrylic yarn lying around.

I found two pencils, and started experimenting with left-leaning decreases.

With pencils.

At a rock and roll show.

This, friends, is the heart of a Process Knitter.

Even so, I will maintain that I’m a hybrid (as I suspect most people and things are in this world), partly because I was so thrilled to put that little swatch to use as an impromptu bow tie for my friend Jesse.

pattern: none
yarn: found
needles: nope

Please let me know if you’d like to have your very own Empty Orchestra pin for $1.
Bow tie not included.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

knitting on skin

April 2nd, 2007 pam Posted in life, random 7 Comments »

ETA: All the wonderfully kind and generous comments ya’ll left when this was originally posted (on Blogger) got lost in the move to the new address. But they’re still in my heart. xoxo

Motivated by Scout’s tattoo meme (she always writes about her relationship with her late mom in such smart and touching ways), and Minty’s creative use of the self-timer, I decided to document my favorite tattoo. Easier said than done, since (1) I’d never used my camera’s timer, and (2) the tattoo is on my back.

I also have a tattoo on my chest that I love. It shows two halves of a heart, broken apart and separated by several inches, but connected by a string. Each half covers a large surgical scar left over from one of my two bouts with leukemia. But since I didn’t want to flash my boobs on the internet, you get the back tatt.

Anyhoo, after some serious wrangling (though it can’t have taken that long — you can still see the night’s sheet creases on my back in these photos), I got some good shots of my other large tattoo.

For context, you should know that it’s a long-standing tradition for people from Flint to have Flint-themed tattoos. Some are classic; some are clever; some are weird. Mine is knitting-related:



Yep, the heart is where Flint is on the Michigan Mitten Map. My friend Ryan (a super-skilled tattoo artist) was awfully patient as I tried to explain to him how knitted stitches fit together. I actually hauled knitting books, a mitten, and a sock on the needles to the shop as visual aides. Because of the thick-n-thin stitches and the wonderful washed-out color, I always think this looks like a mitten made of Malabrigo. :)

The only thing I don’t like about this tattoo is the big mole above the heart (where is that, Michigan-wise? Midland?) that Ryan had to work around. Otherwise, I just wish I could see it more often. (Thank you, self-timer!)

In knitting news, I finished the first Flicker sock last week, but the rain kept me from taking photos until today. The Age of Green is officially ushered in!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Little Miss Sunshine + sex panics

February 26th, 2007 pam Posted in politics, random No Comments »

Off topic. But a response to MJ’s question about a particular scene in Little Miss Sunshine


I LOVE Olive’s pageant performance in Little Miss Sunshine. It is one of my favorite scenes in any movie, ever. Not because it’s ‘ironic’ or funny (though it certainly is), but also because it’s such a smart send-up of the unspoken creepiness of child pageants and the way that in the U.S. we both (1) insist on sexualizing girls in icky grown-up misogynist ways, and (2) are unable to allow girls to express their sexuality in any healthy, childlike ways.

So, of course, we have Britney, Lindsay, and JonBenet. And the median age of fashion models has been going down ever since a 15 year-old Brooke Shields wore her Calvins.

Yet at the same time, we’re trying to protect girls from knowing what a ‘vagina’ is (the accepted medical term for a body part they have). And some jurisdictions have been trying to pass statutes saying that two people under 15 who have any sexual contact must be reported for molesting one another. Huh?

This is what’s called a “sex panic.” One thing has everything to go with the other. That is, the more we turn young girls into sexual objects (in these mainstream, everyday ways we don’t like to talk about), the more we have to point at, and loudly protest our moral outrage about, sex involving children or teens. Witness, for instance, the popularity of those Dateline “stings” — we have to say that adult men who have sex with teens are perverted and freakish, individual twisted sickos who are nothing like the rest of us. (The rest of us just look at Lindsay Lohan’s vulva on TMZ.com, and enter our daughters into beauty pageants.) They’re certainly not a product of a sexist culture that eroticizes youth and young people in troubling ways.

Of course, the sad part is that there’s no room for healthy child sexuality in this cycle, especially for girls.

So all the other girls at the Little Miss Sunshine pageant are dressed-up and made-up and grown-up, like Miss Freakin USA, but Olive is just a regular kid. Her performance (dancing and strip-teasing to Rick James’ “Superfreak”) puts the pageant’s unspoken sexualization of little girls right OUT there.

The other parents are, of course, horrified – what happened to their respectable, middle-class ways of making little girls sexy? What is this chubby, sweatbanded child doing, gyrating awkwardly to a black man’s song, and with poorly executed hair and make-up?

But in spite of the music and the movements, Olive is performing in this wholesome, exuberant way, which isn’t about adult sex at all, or about turning children into sexualized objects, but about her body and dancing and her relationship with her grandpa and her genuinely childlike love of those things. Although this is the first time they’ve seen the routine her grandpa taught her, Olive’s family gets that, and their rushing the stage to support her makes me laugh/cry every time.

And yet, in spite of all this hopefulness, the movie doesn’t pretend that Olive’s performance happens in some kind of social vaccuum where Olive can single-handedly revolutionize the way we understand youthful sexuality. The ‘pedophile’ in the audience is still turned on. The road ahead is a messy one.

Plus, it all comes back to the one of the movie’s main themes: that the ‘normal’ people (the “winners”) are actually the ones who are fucked up, as they turn out a thousand spoiled, cruel little bourgeois barbie dolls. And the “losers,” like Olive and her family, are the ones who can experience the richness of life and share real joy, if only in the midst of angst and suicide attempts and broke-down cars. Rad.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button